


Stories From The Apocalypse

by Mr_Waffles_8



Category: Original Work
Genre: Apocalypse, Gen, Post-Apocalypse, Vampires, Zombies, cannibals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Waffles_8/pseuds/Mr_Waffles_8
Summary: This will tell the tale of an apocalypse that has bloodsucking vampires, murderous cannibals, and flesh-eating, acid-spewing zombies. All neatly wrapped in a nice little package for your enjoyment.





	1. If I had the I would...

I will have bought a million dollar house and a really nice car. But beyond that, I have no need for money since I could just bunker down any house I please. Assuming there are no foul creatures that would love to have me for dinner.


	2. A Nightmare

I had a nightmare about many cannibals trying to eat me while I was asleep. I yelled out for someone but no one answered. I yelled out again, a woman with a shotgun came in. Turns out, it did happen.


	3. My favourite TV show 5/5/08

I had missed my favourite TV show because I had to defend my house from zombies and cannibals with a butcher’s knife. I was using it earlier to cook while watching my show but the zombies and cannibals had to attack my humble abode.


	4. Hobbies

Hobbies are for losers. I'm not a loser or a cool guy. I kill zombies, vampires, and cannibals. I kill them with extreme prejudice and using a chainsaw and silver stakes to dish it out or at least this time around. I do it all with a smile on my face and a skip in my step.


	5. My first fish 19/5/08

I was gifted a goldfish, I always wanted a goldfish. But it turns out that the goldfish is smarter than I thought because it tried to kill me. I tried to eat it, it wrestled my stomach. I planned to cook it, it found out. I finally killed it by giving it to my cat. Now don't get me started on my cat.


	6. Food

I had to eat cannibal food because I was captured by cannibals a week ago!!! I didn't want to eat their food and needed a way out before late. Then I got the bright idea of stabbing my way out with a steak knife. I was exhausted by the time I got out and when I got home, I went straight to bed.


	7. I'll never forget 9/6/08

I'll never forget the party I had with my friends. It was a dark and stormy night (not really but it helps with the drama, anyway) and we were having a great time. I was having a break from all the dancing when I noticed they were all dancing sluggishly. I can't believe I didn't realise it sooner they were all zombies and were looking for their next meal. So I grabbed a cutting knife, stabbed them all dead. I thought it was alright but the world was **_ZOMBIES!!!_**


	8. I hate it when 16/6/08

I hate it when zombies try to take over the world. They're so stupid, it's like a rat trying to rule the world. So I put a stop to their plans. It was very easy to do. That is why I like to kill keep their numbers down and because it's fun.


	9. Winter 23/6/08

Winter is the best because it's easier to kill zombies and cannibals. The zombies are more sluggish and the cannibals like to stock up on food and are not as active. But whenever they dare show their faces I go full judge, jury, and executioner on them with an electric cutting knife.


	10. Yes, I was born in a barn 30/6/08

Yes, I was born a barn because it was the safest place I could be born. Why? All the hospitals in the world were being attacked by cannibals and mindless zombies that spew acid out of their mouths. I was too young to understand why that was. But the cannibals and zombies caught up with my parents and ate them, luckily for me I was hidden.


	11. My big mistake was... 4/8/08

I should've known better than to join up with the cannibals. In hindsight that was my biggest mistake. Turns out all they wanted was to eat me, shocker right? But in my defence, they were surprisingly persuasive. The time I was with them I happily did some things that they wanted. A month later they attacked me. I just managed to get away. Unfortunately, I lost a few fingers in the process.


	12. And then I scored the winning... 11/8/08

I entered a competition that tasked the participants kill as many vampires and acid-spewing zombies as possible within 3 and a half hours. My weapons of choice were a colt .45 and a butcher's knife. I was neck and neck with another contestant, blood and guts were going everywhere while we were trying to see who the better killer is. But then, just before the siren sounded to mark the end of the competition I managed to score the winning kill. I was feeling so ecstatic that I won. 


	13. A dream 18/8/08

I had a dream once where I had killed all the nasties of the world. I let it go to my head that I didn't notice the acid-spewing zombie no-so sneakily come up on me from behind and I died a horrible demise. Then I woke up in a cold sweat, being grateful it was just a dream.


	14. Wine 15/9/08

Wine is a type of alcohol. I would usually try to bribe a police officer with wine and it usually works. But no, some of them just have to be acid-spewing **zombies** and they don't like wine.


	15. Bad meets Evil 22/9/08

When good can't fight evil and evil wins, good goes away. So another evil is born, it's called bad. But don't let them meet, things will get messy.


	16. School!!! 20/10/08

If you skip classes or skip school all together you will become a zombie! Skip enough school and you won't just become a zombie but an acid-spewing zombie! And nobody want acid spewed straight into their faces because that'll just ruin their day. So it's best to not skip class or school. Learn as much as you can, so you don't end up like a zombie. So, please kids stay in school to keep the zombie population down.


	17. The Shed 3/11/08

I have a nifty shed in a small forestry area nearby with a handy workbench. I use the work bench create home-made bombs and/or improvised weapons. Then I use what I created against vampires and cannibals to see what works and what doesn't. But sometimes when my improvised weapons break I whip out my boom stick. On occasion I run out of ammo because I get carried away with using the boom stick.


	18. A letter to a grandparent 10/11/08

A letter to a grandparent is like eating but you're writing it instead of eating it. So I write my letter a grandparent. Get out of town or even off the planet. My reason, the world is turning into acid-spewing zombies. Don't worry about me, I got high-tech weaponry to keep me safe. I'll probably stay here for the rest of my life or until I turn into one of them things.


	19. I love that advert! 17/11/08

I love that advert because it sells awesomely badass weapons and it helps that it has a catchy tune. I buy the guns to kill acid-spewing zombies in a whole variety of ways. I do target practice on vampires and cannibals with them as well. Unfortunately, I can't send them back if they're faulty, I can't even get a refund either! But fortunately, they sell good quality products.


	20. The shed part 2 24/11/08

I was wondering in a small forestry area that's nearby where I live. To my surprise, I found a shed. The thought of it being loaded with weapons and ammo crossed my mind. So I curiously walked up to it and saw it was infested with acid-spewing zombies and cannibals. I grabbed my metal baseball bat and proceeded to kill them. Once I cleared It and had look around, I saw that it had nothing in it, a waste of effort. But it did, however, have a workbench in it which wasn't a total loss I guess.


	21. My first bike 1/12/08

I remember the day I finally got my first bike. It's still very vivid to me. I would use to quickly ride out of any sticky situations I would find myself in, especially when my house was being raided by cannibals and vampires. Since then I've managed to arm myself and have become more experienced dealing with those nasties.


End file.
